So yes.

Almost eighteen months have gone by. I've no followers yet, quite rightly, because I've been adding nothing to this blog.

In the meantime my partner has died, something I of expected would happen, but of course his death has hit me very badly.

I say 'of course.'

I had thought - anticipated - I'd be able to cope.

Where do I go from now ?

I really think its too late to rebuild my life. I'm not asking for sympathy. But from now onwards its second, or third, or fourth, or fifth best.

The perceived wisdom is that - following bereavement - one should wait a year before making major decisions.

I don't feel like making any decisions at all.

Ever.

There was once a time when it was considered bad manners to read other people's letters, but some years ago we had, staying with us, a Nobel Prize winning novelist -  who disconcertingly -  in the context -  told us that this is exactly what she would do whenever she got the chance.

People nowadays, especially young people, have no problem whatsoever about exposing all sorts of intimate details to absolute strangers.  On their mobiles, Youtube, Facebook -  whatever -  Xtube ?

Are they telling the truth ?   Or have they created fake -  public -  personalities ?

I rather think not. 

Stig, on Xtube, is pretty relaxed.   In hospital, in Inverness, my partner was asked -  by a female doctor -  whether he was 'active' or 'passive.'

"Active," he said, 'Mostly...'

A few words to begin with:  I don't regard myself as a 'Gay Man' -  just as an ordinary guy who happens to be gay.

I'm happy (and lucky)  to be living in a place, and at a time, when this fact is pretty unremarkable.

The Scottish Highlands are I know perceived by outsiders to be populated mainly by fundamentalist bigots but people here have learned to live with each other.

Scots tend to be pretty egalitarian in the sense that we like to include people, and we're saddened when people choose to exclude themselves.

Thus our ridiculous affection for little grey houses.